Behind the Scenes Look at the Running of Hogwarts
by Mrs. Vega
Summary: Have you ever wondered what happens behind the scenes at Hogwarts?  If so, this book is for you!  Written by Hermione Potter, and with rave reviews.   Special thanks to Slytherin66 for the inspiration behind and ideas for this story
1. Introduction

A Behind the Scenes Look at the Running Hogwarts

By Hermione Potter

**Introduction**

In all my years at Hogwarts, I found that any and all information about the actual running of Hogwarts, is kept rather close. I understand that some of this may be about lack of interest (how many students actually want to know where their food comes from, or what happens to their potions after they turn them in). In other instances, it may be about safety (obviously the exact wards around Hogwarts must be kept secret). However, there were many questions during my time at Hogwarts that I was unable to answer, and at least 90% of those were regarding Hogwarts herself.

Where do the House Elves go when they aren't working? How does the school get the food for its nearly 500 occupants? What _does_ happen to the potions we turn in for assignments? These are all questions I've learned the answer to now that my husband is Headmaster.

Harry Potter fully supports disclosing more facts about the school. A victim of Albus Dumbledore's notorious habit of keeping information from others, Headmaster Potter has decided it is time to share more information with the regular wizarding population. It was this desire that led me to bring up every question I ever had about the running of Hogwarts and get answers to each.

I sincerely hope you find the answers to some of your own questions within these pages, as it can be incredibly aggravating to be left answerless.

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><p><strong>AN: So, here is the introduction to the book written by Hermione Potter (yeah, she marries Harry in this universe, they're better together than her and Ron or him and Ginny). Anyway, I have a few ideas to start, but then I'll need help, so any ideas you have about whyhow something happens, or a question about the running of Hogwarts, let me know in a review and I'll work it into a future chapter. Hope you enjoy it.**


	2. Chapter 1: House Elves

Chapter 1: House Elves

I find I simply must start with the most important part of Hogwarts' running: the House Elves. Without them, Hogwarts' occupants would not have food, the fires would never be lit, the castle would be a disgusting mess, the laundry would not be done…I could go on and on.

If you are looking for an explanation of how these duties are accomplished, I suggest you look for a book about House Elves and their magic. This book isn't about that. The question I asked was this: Where do the House Elves go when they aren't working?

Through some misguided efforts to set House Elves free and give them benefits, I know that House Elves do not have "down time" but they do sleep. They sleep approximately three hours a day in the prime of their lives, and as much as six hours a day when they are older.

Now, considering that there are nearly two hundred House Elves at Hogwarts, there must be some place to house them during their sleeping hours. According to House Elf Winky who has been working at Hogwarts for nearly 45 years, the House Elves all sleep at night, usually starting around 1am in the morning. This is the time when the castle is least active. There is a small group of elves who sleep earlier and are up running the kitchens in the event of a visitor during this time, but not many.

So, where do nearly 150 House Elves sleep? Answer: The Elf House dormitory beneath the kitchens. I can hear the "huh?" right now. No one has ever heard of the Elf House. We know Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin, but not Elf.

Elf House was established not long after Hogwarts was founded. It is well decorated (Winky was kind enough to share her memories of it with me), looking much like a mixture of the four house dormitories. Single Elves are housed together, in the same way that housemates of the same year sleep within the same room, while mated Elves are given separate quarters, including a nursery when they have young. The Elf House also features a small school for the young Elves, teaching them Elf magic and etiquette, as well as the basics of running Hogwarts. In this way, the Hogwarts House Elf population is self sustaining, although the young elves are allowed to decide if they wish to bond with Hogwarts, or leave to serve a family.

As an interesting side note, there has only ever been one paid Elf at Hogwarts: Dobby, who was a free elf, and was paid one Galleon a week and received a day off each month. I applaud his forward thinking, but, sadly, realize that Dobby was one-of-a-kind, and doubt that the world shall ever see his like again. We all miss you, Dobby, old friend.

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><p><strong>AN: So, I have several ideas swimming through my head for this fic, and decided to post another chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. <strong>


	3. Chapter 2: Procuring Food

Chapter 2: Procuring Food

In my eyes, the next logical question after 'were do the House Elves go' is 'where does the food at Hogwarts come from'? I imagine that, depending on your upbringing, you have several different ideas about how this happens.

Those either born into, or raised by, non-magical families most likely wonder what grocer's shop can possibly carry enough food to feed the army of students, faculty, and staff at Hogwarts. But, obviously, this cannot be. Truly, can you imagine one of the professors waiting to pay for hundreds of baskets of food? Or, even more absurd, a House Elf walking up and down the aisles, choosing what will be cooked that evening? It is not going to work.

Those raised in magical families, depending on the wealth of the family, may or may not have any knowledge of where their food is procured. For many, it simply appears on the table, cooked to perfection, at meal times. For others, everything needed is grown on the property. These students would actually come closest to guessing the truth.

Students only have access to one-third of the grounds belonging to Hogwarts castle. Now, before any young troublemakers or adventurers get any ideas, these grounds are magically hidden and warded against student entry. So sorry to disappoint you all.

These grounds are mostly used for food production. There are massive gardens and pasture lands. Using a combination of House Elf magic and wizard magic, the areas have been enchanted to perpetually maintain perfect growing weather. Each type of plant is kept in optimum growing conditions, ensuring that there is never a shortage of food. Animals are kept in their preferred weather and land type, ensuring that they grow quickly and produce a large amount of young to ensure future generations.

Obviously, the next question on many minds is 'how is this possible'? Anyone who paid attention in Herbology knows that plants have a short production phase, after which they need to replenish their nutrients before another production phase. The short answer is the most aggravating: it's magic. However, there is more to it than that.

The plants are actually fed magic. The House Elves that care for the garden areas infuse the fertilizer and water with magic to ensure a quicker 'recovery' time for the plants. The various plants have also been planted in stages so that while one group is 'recovering' another is in production. It is a very efficient system.

NOTE: Those sensitive to the slaughter of animals for the purpose of consumption, please skip down to the next 'NOTE'.

As one very sensitive to animal cruelty and ill treatment, I decided to personally visit the slaughterhouse located within the pasture area despite reservations. What I found surprised me. It is nothing at all like non-magical slaughterhouses. The House Elves use a special type of magic, which they simply call 'food magic' to lead the unwitting animals into the slaughterhouse. There are no frightened calls, no horrid noises, and no mess. The House Elves simply put the animals to sleep and stop the animals' hearts. It is a quick and painless process, taking about half a minute.

When the animal is officially 'dead' the Elves banish the blood to large vats and banish the skin to the processing plant located in the farthest corner of the pasture lands to be processed and sold. The blood is either used for cooking or sold, depending on necessity. The carcass is then transported to the kitchens to be cooked.

NOTE: I feel it should be said that it would be worth breaching the international statute of secrecy just to make the Hogwarts method of slaughtering animals available to the non-magical population. Unfortunately, I doubt many magical people agree with me.

The animal population in the pasture lands is MASSIVE. It is impossible to truly understand without having seen it. I realize this is a rather annoying statement given I've mentioned that the pasture lands are inaccessible to most of the magical population, but it is true nonetheless. There are thousands of each type of animal. I was amazed when I first saw them all. However, considering how much Hogwarts' population must eat, it makes sense that there would be so many. Remember, Hogwarts feasts are enough to feed an army.


End file.
